alFador's end of time!

Redemption... for long time rejection!

Love strains are not forever... they change with the times...

as long as we keep close to our objectives

we may have a life of our own.

My story holds no past, no future, no memories.

Life is short, guilty is not!

Forget the past and move along?

Seek confort anywhere I go?

Travelers seek & try to find a choice

With collision detections in my path

no other way but to keep my track.

No matter where I am, but where I will be...

I don't care where have you been...

in the future you'll be with me!

That's the only thing I care

for me...

More than a month has passed since I wrote in here... now I am ready to write again... My 24th birthday came along with so many surprises with it. Dreisoft MX is now formerly called Zak-TI... two of my partners left the project and now 4 of us still continue with this life project. It's been a hard road to keep, but everyday we keep walking on it with our hearts full of hope.

About me... well, work... I have a lot! I think I am good as a teacher... a little bit hard to keep on, but I go on every day with every assessment I give. In the other hand... what can I tell about it... it keeps pushing me towards choices I do not want to make... I don't want to think so much on it, but... it will keep pushing me aside... for a while.

Speaking about judgement... let me say that certainly I do not believe in such thing as 'karma'... BUT KARMA DOES BELIEVE IN ME!

For that reason I wish to share with you this little song, it is in spanish, but sure you will understand what it says... take it as a little chapter of anybody's life.

 

 

Quizo volar igual que las gaviotas

libre en el aire, por el aire libre

y los demás dijeron "pobre idiota"

"no sabe que volar es imposible"

más extendió las alas hacia el cielo

y poco a poco fue ganando altura

y los demás quedaron en el suelo

guardando la cordura.

 

Y construyó castillos en el aire

a pleno sol con nubes de algodón

en un lugar en donde nunca nadie

pudo llegar usando la razón.

 

Y construyó ventanas fabulosas

llenas de luz, de magia y de color

y convocó al duende de las cosas

que tienen mucho que ver con el amor.

 

Los demás, al verlo tan dichoso

cundió la alarma, se dictaron normas

no vaya a ser que fuera contagioso

tratar de ser feliz de aquella forma

la conclusión es clara y contundente

lo condenaron por su chifladura

a convivir de nuevo con la gente

vestido de cordura.

 

Por construir castillos en el aire

a pleno sol con nubes de algodón

en un lugar en donde nunca nadie

pudo llegar usando la razón.

 

Y por abrir ventanas fabulosas

llenas de luz, de magia y de color

y convocar al duende de las cosas

que tienen mucho que ver con el amor.

 

Acaba aquí, la historia del idiota

que por el aire como el aire libre

quizo volar igual que las gaviotas

pero eso es imposible.

                                                 DECEPTION

                   SOLITUDE                            COLD                 LOVE

NOTHING                                STRANGE                                   SOUR

                                                                DARK

                             DISTANT                                                              HOLLOW

     DARK                                    HEAVY                  NARROW

           CHEAP                  DULL

                                                                              HARD

                    CLUELESS

So let's make a review of this problem...

I need some money to start my business ideas, but I have CERO from now to start on... let me think about a great opportunity to get everything I want. My company can't afford a short-term efficiency from now on. I am going to get another partner who can afford any economic inconvenience that can result from starting this ideas.

I must remember that life comes step by step, one just after another... sometimes I can jump a couple of stories from a single jump, but I musn't forget this is an exception. I need you... I need your inspiration... I need that look from your eyes... that heavy look that makes me go deeper into myself.

This muddle comes to me as a tidal wave capable of a mass destruction beyond imagination. My feelings and thougths must be organized even more than they were during school years.

My future comes today... every action and decition I take now will come on and will appear again once I realize it is to late to change any course of action I took in my past.

Let me be wiser in any path I take... in any COA *Course of Action* I take... Is any of those COA capabable of bringing me next to you? Am I someone that can offer you something at anytime?

I thought I knew a little about feelings... but lately I come to see I am wrong...

 

I must learn ... falling in love isn't equal to obsession.

I must learn ... I do not owe all of my motiviation to a single person.

I must learn ... I don not have to beg for love.

I must learn ... If I want to have an adult's relationship, I must act like one.

I must learn ... In love, just like anywhere else, we can fail.

I must learn ... is not goot to godlike persons we fall in love with.

I must learn ... I like being who I am.

I must learn ... If I feel something today, it doesn't mean I wil feel it tomorrow.

I must learn ... comfort that comes from rutine is a fake, life is in change everyday.

I must learn ... plans can disappear at any moment.

Dear friends of old... this time my words are not for my whole readers but for one person only. I won't tell names so please excuse me for being such a coward right now. You know who I will talk to, right? That little smell of yours... still surrounding me... I can't longer be with you even if I want to... I'm not comfortable with it... I'm not the same person when I am with you. Remember when you told me you were happy with me? Were you really happy? That night, I knew it will be our last night... why so many lies between us? Well, maybe there is not an 'us' in here... there never was!

You will always remind me of a sun... coming out for just some hours just to be gone again. I know if I let you, you will come back again... just to leave again and leave the darkness of night behind you. After all that I just remember that if I cry for loosing light of your sun, my tears won't let me watch the stars.

How can we learn from our mistakes? How can I keep up a promise? How can I hurt anyone but myself?

Status: In my own shit...